Being a mommy this last week and a half has been so life changing. Everything has shifted and now my concern is this little human. I am a bit fiester when it comes to what I want for him. I am more wiling to give up my own comforts for his. Lastly, my house is covered in baby gear! I love it!
The joy of holding my son has brought so much peace to my heart. I look at him and think, there you are. I was always a bit worried about bonding but as each day passes, that is no longer a worry. We connect. I know he is meant to be in my arms. My heart has grown in ways I never thought possible before.
Oh man, there are times that it is not easy. Like last night at 3 in the morning when he had been changed and had eaten but was still grumpy. Like the fact that I worry about EV-ER-Y-THING!!! Is he breathing? Is he comfortable? What does that noise mean? Is this normal? All of my mommies are reassuring me that it's all normal.
Along the journey to claim my mommyhood, I really thought it was all about me. I would feel happier as a mom, my anxiety would go away, I would do and say he right things unlike everyone else. Boy was I wrongo. This isn't about me, it's about him. Maybe that was my problem all along. The only thing that has changed in me is the desire to do and be what is best for him.
...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalms 30:5
Oh how beautiful the morning to get to be the mother to this beautiful baby boy!